Wanting to move

I've been thinking about moving,

Considering to move, where, to Timmins Ontario. It's 8hours away from where I live right now. I go there about 2-3 times a year. My hole family lives there. Family of both parents. It's a little town, and it's up north, so it's pretty cold compared to Ottawa. Yup, I live in Ottawa big difference from the little town of Timmins. For a girl that loves to shop, and loves the heat, and that wants to move to a town with one shopping mall and barely any stores, and pretty much only one month of summer. I think there's a big reason why. I wouldn't leave all the big malls there is here to go live where there's only one little for any other then a good reason.

One month goes by, ... still thinking about moving there. I hadn't tolled anyone but my sister.

... I was in Timmins for Christmas. It was great I felt like I should stay there. Start out fresh, new. Go to a new school make new friends, better friends. Meaning friends that aren't in drugs and that acutely care about me and are willing to do everything to help me when I need them. And to be with my family, to be able to have so much people around me that love me no matter what I do. Just having them around makes my heart feel better. Because I know you'll never end up alone, your surrounded by people that care for you so much and love you with all there heart. That would do anything to make you feel better or to help you thought your tuff times, your times you need someone to be there for you and to talk it threw. And to have people that understand you. I want to be there for them too. I want to know my little cousins and to know that they love there cousin Jessica. I want to get to know more of who everyone is in my family, and for them to know me too. Know me as the girl I'm changing to be, the real me. The girl that wanted to change but wasn't ready too. Or didn't have enough faith in herself to do so. I'm ready I want to change my everyday rituals like I'm doing, but make it the past for real. And I want to move to be with my family and to just start over. I want to be the girl inside that's stronger and better then the one I am. I want to become my everyday day dream, The girl inside ! With no lust no mean talks about people, no hatred. I'm setting my mind to be that girl I've been dying to be. The better me. I'm going to be that girl with a caring heart, that's sweet as anyone can be. The girl that respects people for who they are. The girl that is always honest no matter what. I'm going to be that girl that wants to be there for everyone to help them threw anything and to just know that I'm there for them no matter what. What I'm saying is I'm going to be me Jessica Gendron. The girl I really am. The girl I've been hiding inside. I'm going to push away the girl I pretended to be and become me, the real me.

I already started to be her. I'm quitting the drugs the smoking. Its now been 5days. ... I'm also trying my best to stay away from my friends that influence me. But in a way they will still respect me and still like me as who I am. But to know I'm done with the things I use to do.

Those are my reasons why I want to move.

Ill let you know more ... And if I'm going to move.

And I'll let you know other reason's I have to move there ...