The talk.

The next day, January 15,

He was there again, it was the end of the day. Not doing anything in class. I go to the washroom knowing he was close to there, sitting down. I get out of the washroom thinking I would go talk to him. Expecting I could handle it. I just wanted to get it over with. I get out, his not there. Frustrated.. as I was walking he was talking to my teacher. I wait .. Then my friend passes by. Stoped and talked to me. As I was hugging him. Stephane passes looks at me, I look too. Stop hugging my friend. He comes closer to me, and says how are you?, It's been awhile. I was looking at him with a face all nervous, surprised, confused and just in love, with his beauty. He comes gives me a hug. I'm there thinking omg, a hug! I hugged him back of course. I put my face against his body, closed my eyes, I was gone in those moments I had when I was with him. The moments when I would have that hug of his and just the feeling inside that was so good, because I knew he was still mine and that boy that was hugging me, was the greatest. And just always felt good to have a wonderful guy like him hug me. And the fact that he loved me. .. All that coming to my thoughts real fast because that hug lasted only about 2secondes. Maybe longer but not to me. He pulls away, I was not ready for him too. I could of stayed in his arms forever ! . He noticed I had my eyes closed. How embarrassing is that! ... I finally answered his question, I'm I'm I'm....... okay. ....Ya, I shivered while answering. And then with a straight voice I ask, how about you?

He said same. I was glad he didn't want to rub in the fact he had moved on. Because I obviously knew he was and is. But telling me, no thanks. .... Next question he asks me was, what was new in my life. I said nothing really you? Then he went on about things that were new in his life... Like I was acutely paying attention and acutely wanted to know, or acutely cared. I did pay attention just enough to know what to say back, and it had to be a good reply. And I did reply good and smart. I did want to know, just not about the things he was acutely telling me. I wanted to hear about his heart how it was feeling. And I did care about what he was talking to me about, I just would of cared more about what he was feeling new inside.... Anyways I knew he wouldn't talk about his feelings inside.Why would he, I'm not his G-F. ....... We had a conversation about his car.. and why he was at school, which I knew why. ....

There was some sorta awkward moments in our conversation. I let some stupid comments like oh, I like your hair cut. Blah blah, nervous comments what can I say. .... He would just say thanks..... and smile, what else could he say. ha ha. ..... He goes on then says your looking good. OH MY ! why would he say that like seriously! I just did that awkward smile.... like ah thanks... the hole time we had talked he would look at me up in down, I thought that was odd because he never did that before, maybe it was one of his nervous reactions . ha ha maybe not I don't know. And probably wont. A nother thing he always was smiling! It was sexy but, I was still thinking why are you smiling, stop it. I'm dying to kiss you!

End of conversation comes, I guess ill let you go to class eh. I said... alright I guess. He smiles, gives me other hug, He doesn't know that it kills me or what! He probably thinks, gotta be nice and hug her. But common, I still Love this guy, and he hugs me. That's hard to handle! ... But he thinks I'm over him i bett. Hes crazy to thinks so. I knew to make this hug little and to not last long, first of all I'm going to start dreaming in his arms again and going to want it to last forever. And I'm about to start bursting out of tears! Because it's all coming to me again like always, HES MY EX. ... Hug ends, we both walk different directions still looking at each other, his saying ill see you soon ... I'm saying take good care. ..... both just smiling away. Then both turn to our direction. Friends looking at me ... I'm still smiling. And thinking, u did it! You were tuff and strong. You had a conversation with him. As two friends. Well really anyone could know it wasen't a friend conversation, it was a first talk between a ex couple. I was happy I hadn't bursted out of tears even though I was so close too!, And he knew that for sure. He knows how I am in any way. So he did. .... After thinking about that and other things like I LOVE him!... I was crying once again! All last class. Friends around me, trying to help me. Wouldn't work. The only thing I wanted was to have him hold me into his arms and to tell me He still loved me.

I pasted the night with no more makeup on my face and tears that wouldn't stop falling down from my eyes. And still broken hearted like always. But was glad and happy to have seen his beautiful face and his wonderful smile. That I day dream about everyday scene's.